Entry for July 31, 2008

Fact 1.

The Heidlberg and Westminster shorter catechisms were drilled into my
skull over and over again. As a result, I know the first question of
each catechism by heart and will till the day I die or get hit by one of those stellar Cleveland drivers and become a vegetable… and that’s about it. But anyway, they go:

Heidlberg (ooh, look at that, it’s spelled AND pronounced like my last
name. Must be German. I’m so easily distracted.)
Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own but belong body and soul, in life and in death,
to my faithful savior Jesus Christ who has fully paid for all my sins
with his precious blood… and soforth and so-on.

Westminster shorter
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. (This was
my favorite because it’s so short. Short is good. Also, when I first
heard the question I thought man’s chief end was his head, because it’s
smarter than the feet, and if it was the rear, that would just be
scandalous and they certainly wouldn’t put scandal into a catechism
class that all young children would be coerced into taking.)

Fact 2. I love dairy products. If I have to go more than 12 hours
without some milk or cheese or ice cream or yogurt I am disgruntled. I
go several days without meat without even noticing until I open the
freezer and notice that it’s still full of meat. I then think about how
I should really thaw some meat and eat it so that I have more room for
ice cream.

Result: The other day after my bike ride when I was scarfing up every dairy
product that I own because I was starving, I came up with the following
which at the time I thought was perfectly normal and even a bit amusing.

Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?
A. Cheese and ice cream!

Q. What is man’s chief end?
A. To eat dairy products.

Current thoughts on the matter: That isn’t even funny! It’s just
weird. Does something happen to my brain when I have been exercising
for an hour and 15 minutes and haven’t eaten anything but vegetables,
fruit, and a handful VBS trail mix all day?

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